Picking up the Pieces

I never thought picking up the slack would be such a chore, I guess I always thought there were as many workaholics as I was. I tend to think about the larger picture in order to synch the smaller pieces together. We live in a world where convenience is at our fingertips, I don’t think that’s the case anymore, at least not here. It was lost a long time ago. I was naive to think that our world was so simple and filled by many who cared about the world around them. I am surprised more and more everyday by how different we really are. That goes for everyone and not just my tiny community in a place so far away from home.

Some may argue that our environments create our personalities and our characters, I think, more though, that our childhood and our nurtured habits tend to be the sole proprietor in the person we eventually become. I am fortunate to have the parents I do, who have taught my sisters and I the values of compassion, hard work, tolerance and perseverance. I remind myself, even more so now than I have in the past, how important these qualities or traits are. I don’t like to give up, and I certainly don’t like having to rely on those that do.

Before I left home a complete stranger told me to stay true to myself. That is oh-SO true. I think I lost hope for reality, the realities of the world so far removed from the Western world are different, slighted and incredibly misunderstood. I can’t say that I understand it myself. I hoped to accomplish more than I have here both on personal and professional levels. I have the future to look forward to and that is all. It is grey, dark and hazy. I cannot see much else other than the finish line. Right now I can only hope for the best, and thank goodness I am alive and well.

I try to remember there’s a purpose, an end-state, and a round about date for when I will be home. The latter is the most important…obviously! That day cannot come soon enough. My future is open, it is away from this place. I will be free. Free from here, free from strangers, and free from the mountainous desert. I cannot be surrounded by careless people, there is no hope for them either. I am disappointed, I am over this. I have my conscience telling me to stay true to myself and a cheering committee waiting for my return.

A constant smile is not always as it seems, we live in fear for things gone wrong and wondering what possibly could be done to make things right. A plastered smile gets me through the days, and I like to think it helps others too. I piece of helpful cheer goes a long way, I love those moments when friends go out of their way to crack a smile. Thank heaven for them. I like to think I help them smile too from time to time, it is them who make the time pass by.

Stay true to yourself no matter how hard it is. Don’t forget the passion that got you started on your route in the first place. And ALWAYS believe in yourself…